The Carbon Cult Awaits!

Each precious stone is more than a collectible; it is a relic of ascension. With every purchase, a sacred card marks your standing in the hierarchy. These cards are not paper, but seals of belonging—symbols of wit, rebellion, and hidden privilege. Some grant status, some whisper prophecy, some reveal tools for the initiated. Collect them, compare them, even trade them among your circle. To hold a Carbon Capture Stone is to carry a story older than rock itself—satire wrapped in ritual, and entry into the circle few will ever know.

Why Join the Cult?

•Hold a relic — stone, satire, signal.
•Own scarcity — not just another trinket.
•Rise in rank — each purchase, an ascension.
•Trade the cards — lore, prophecy, status.
•Believe or mock — both sides find meaning.

Whether you think the world is burning or believe it’s all a hoax, this stone captures the absurdity of arguing about rocks. It’s a signal of belonging no matter which side you’re on.

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First Fracture- Collectors Edition. Not just a stone. Proof you belong!

The stone that started it all. The First Fracture box includes a polished obsidian stone, lore-of-the-stone card, certificate of authenticity, a carbon vial, and a commemorative wood coin.

Part satire, part collectible—this is your initiation into the circle.

Pre-Order Now! Shop The First Fracture, Claim Yours!

Collectors Edition! How Dare You Ascend! From outrage to inspiration — A Stone That Speaks Louder Than Words!

Born of fury and fire, the Greta Stone channels the raw energy of outrage into inspiration. It is a reminder that conviction, even when inconvenient, can spark movements and reshape the conversation. The Greta Stone doesn’t whisper—it demands to be heard, daring its keeper to stand taller, speak louder, and embrace the satire of saving the world one rock at a time.

Pre-Order Now! Shop The Greta Stone. I Dare You!

The California Dreaming Stone. Virtue Crumbles at the Coast.

The California Dreamin’ Stone captures the spirit of golden beaches and shifting sands, where ideals shine bright but often slip through the cracks. Each stone is a reminder of the sunny optimism—and the fragile illusions—that define the coast. With its certificate of authenticity, engraved coin, carbon vial, and velveteen pouch, this drop embodies the dream we all chase, and the truth we all confront.

Pre-Order Now! Shop the California Dreaming Stone!

The Trinity Collection -- Three Stones One Destiny! To hold all three is to bypass the quarry and ascend at once!

From the quarry’s first fracture to the coast where virtue crumbles, three relics emerged: The First Fracture, The Greta Stone, and California Dreamin’.

Each stone alone whispers satire. Together, they roar prophecy.

To claim the Trinity is to skip the long climb of ranks, to leap straight into the Circle’s inner chamber. No trials. No waiting. The highest seat—if you dare take it.
Scarcity multiplied by three. Satire sharpened into ritual. Carbon pressed into conscience.

Only the bold will hold all three. Most will hesitate. Few will ascend.
Do you dare?

Pre-Order Now! Shop the California Dreaming Stone!

The Trinity Collection!

From the quarry’s first fracture to the coast where virtue crumbles, three relics emerged: The First Fracture, The Greta Stone, and California Dreamin’.

Each stone alone whispers satire. Together, they roar prophecy.

To claim the Trinity is to skip the long climb of ranks, to leap straight into the Circle’s inner chamber. No trials. No waiting. The highest seat—if you dare take it.
Scarcity multiplied by three. Satire sharpened into ritual. Carbon pressed into conscience.

Only the bold will hold all three. Most will hesitate. Few will ascend.

Do you dare?

THE REVIEWS

Testimonials

  • 10% Science, 100% Rock. 100% Cult!

    “I thought I was just buying a rock. Turns out I joined a cult, signaled my virtue, and now my neighbors envy my carbon footprint—or lack of it. Worth every penny.”

  • Wicked smart

    “The moment I opened the box, I felt my conscience lighten by at least two metric tons. Finally, a collectible that offsets my guilt and looks great on the mantel.”

    — Darren Flux, Proud Stonebearer

  • My New Best Friend

    “My therapist told me to find grounding. I didn’t know she meant literally. Now I own a Carbon Capture Stone and three layers of smug superiority.”

    — Melissa Greenfield, Early Initiate

Collections